2010-04-13 11:43![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fearofpiggies
fearofpiggiesDib had been working on a project since he and Ferb had rebuilt the desktop computer he owned to hit 1 petabyte of storage, and have phenomenally fast processing speeds. He'd been building a computer from scratch. And the narration truly means it - the only thing that he didn't fabricate or upcycle and repuprose was the floating screen that he'd brought with him from his own reality. He took his time with a good portion of it, but eventually, he had a completely working computer made out of early-21st century parts that could go at early 22nd century speeds. He was pretty damn proud of himself, since he even wrote the fundamental coding that made it actually run. What was it for? Well, he had one very important, very odd program that he had compressed so entirely that he was hoping it hadn't corrupted and would uncompress properly. Working on getting it unpackaged (which took a good hour and a half), Dib paced the length of the living room, looking at the progress on occasion, barely able to focus on anything else.
When the computer beeped pleasantly, it was the first of the sounds, followed by a low, excited, "Whooooaaaaaahhhhh! COMING ONLINE! DATABASE FOUND!!! LANGUAGE SET AS HUMAN ROMAN LETTERS! Wait." and Dib sat down in front of the hovering screen, which started floating around in a strangely frantic way, looking around the room.
"This is not the base!" Spoke the low-voiced AI. "YOU ARE NOT ZIM!!"
"No, actually," Dib said, spinning to face the screen. "I'm sure you know who I am, Computer. I stole your AI coding five years ago, and have since reprogrammed you. I took out your programmed hatred of any race but the Irkens..."
"I hated the Irkens too," Corrected the AI with a huge sound of a sigh. "Especially Zim. Augghhh if I have to deal with that IDIOT one more moment!!!"
"Don't worry about it," Dib assured, a little smug, "Zim isn't here. I somehow found myself in an alternate dimension, with some of my tools and the information I stole from Zim, including your coding and capabilities. I had to improvise a computer that was able to hold your immense AI, but considering 21st century technology, I think I did pretty well."
"Has anyone told you that you're boring when you talk at length?" Asked the computer.
"Yeah, I know. It's a bad habit. Look. All you need to know is that we're --" Dib started before being interrupted,
"INTERNET UPLINK ACTIVATED!!!" Yelled the AI. "I already know. We're in the year 2010, and in London, England, EARTH! GOD this connection is slow."
"I know, right? So, Computer," Dib said before getting interrupted once more.
"Eddie."
"Eddie?" Dib quirked a brow.
"My name is EDDIE!" the AI proclaimed.
"Okay, Eddie, fine, whatever. Look, all I need to tell you is that Zim isn't around, but GIR is, and I'm not sure about Irk or any of the other planets. I need you to bring up the schematics for a--"
Eddie boredly butted in again, "You want the schematics for the galactic uplink doohickey. DONE!" The screen brought up the blueprints and showed it, while floating smoothly. Dib got the feeling he was being smugly smirked at.
"Okay, let me finish what I was going to fucking say," Dib grumbled, "I need the schematics AND a way to build it out of early 21st century human parts and technology. Can you do that for me?"
"PROCESSING!!" Eddie yelled. Dib sighed. Did everything from Irk have to yell?
"I have found parts that you can use to build the uplink, Dib," Eddie said, "And have ordered them off the sluggish internet of the ancient past. You're welcome. They'll be here in under 24 hours."
"Oh good." Dib quirked a brow, "I'm going to need you to do some diagnostics for yourself. If your computer starts getting stupid, I'll fix you, or I'll have Ferb--"
"What is a Ferb?"
"Ferb's my boyfriend." Dib said with a sigh.
"HAHAHAHA! The Dib-human is feeling emotions of affection and care!"
"Yeah. So anyway, we'll fix you if you need anything. In any case, you'll be staying here with us for a while. Don't fuck up or I'll dismantle you."
"Got it, boss! Ha, you humans and your love juices. I'll enjoy documenting the firsthand show of human mating habits for later use in... Uh. Stuff. What I used to document things for. What was that?"
Dib had to think on his toes for this one and he answered quickly. "You documented human stuff for Zim's mission, but that mission has failed, and you're in a different reality. In other words? Stay out of my business and work on getting yourself acclimated to 21st century Earth."
"Yes, sir," Responded a sulking Eddie.
Dib liked this AI. He smirked and walked to the door, "If anyone but Ferb, Gir or myself come into the apartment, you've been allowed access to the telephone system. Call the authorities. I'm going out for a while. Seeya later, Eddie."
When the computer beeped pleasantly, it was the first of the sounds, followed by a low, excited, "Whooooaaaaaahhhhh! COMING ONLINE! DATABASE FOUND!!! LANGUAGE SET AS HUMAN ROMAN LETTERS! Wait." and Dib sat down in front of the hovering screen, which started floating around in a strangely frantic way, looking around the room.
"This is not the base!" Spoke the low-voiced AI. "YOU ARE NOT ZIM!!"
"No, actually," Dib said, spinning to face the screen. "I'm sure you know who I am, Computer. I stole your AI coding five years ago, and have since reprogrammed you. I took out your programmed hatred of any race but the Irkens..."
"I hated the Irkens too," Corrected the AI with a huge sound of a sigh. "Especially Zim. Augghhh if I have to deal with that IDIOT one more moment!!!"
"Don't worry about it," Dib assured, a little smug, "Zim isn't here. I somehow found myself in an alternate dimension, with some of my tools and the information I stole from Zim, including your coding and capabilities. I had to improvise a computer that was able to hold your immense AI, but considering 21st century technology, I think I did pretty well."
"Has anyone told you that you're boring when you talk at length?" Asked the computer.
"Yeah, I know. It's a bad habit. Look. All you need to know is that we're --" Dib started before being interrupted,
"INTERNET UPLINK ACTIVATED!!!" Yelled the AI. "I already know. We're in the year 2010, and in London, England, EARTH! GOD this connection is slow."
"I know, right? So, Computer," Dib said before getting interrupted once more.
"Eddie."
"Eddie?" Dib quirked a brow.
"My name is EDDIE!" the AI proclaimed.
"Okay, Eddie, fine, whatever. Look, all I need to tell you is that Zim isn't around, but GIR is, and I'm not sure about Irk or any of the other planets. I need you to bring up the schematics for a--"
Eddie boredly butted in again, "You want the schematics for the galactic uplink doohickey. DONE!" The screen brought up the blueprints and showed it, while floating smoothly. Dib got the feeling he was being smugly smirked at.
"Okay, let me finish what I was going to fucking say," Dib grumbled, "I need the schematics AND a way to build it out of early 21st century human parts and technology. Can you do that for me?"
"PROCESSING!!" Eddie yelled. Dib sighed. Did everything from Irk have to yell?
"I have found parts that you can use to build the uplink, Dib," Eddie said, "And have ordered them off the sluggish internet of the ancient past. You're welcome. They'll be here in under 24 hours."
"Oh good." Dib quirked a brow, "I'm going to need you to do some diagnostics for yourself. If your computer starts getting stupid, I'll fix you, or I'll have Ferb--"
"What is a Ferb?"
"Ferb's my boyfriend." Dib said with a sigh.
"HAHAHAHA! The Dib-human is feeling emotions of affection and care!"
"Yeah. So anyway, we'll fix you if you need anything. In any case, you'll be staying here with us for a while. Don't fuck up or I'll dismantle you."
"Got it, boss! Ha, you humans and your love juices. I'll enjoy documenting the firsthand show of human mating habits for later use in... Uh. Stuff. What I used to document things for. What was that?"
Dib had to think on his toes for this one and he answered quickly. "You documented human stuff for Zim's mission, but that mission has failed, and you're in a different reality. In other words? Stay out of my business and work on getting yourself acclimated to 21st century Earth."
"Yes, sir," Responded a sulking Eddie.
Dib liked this AI. He smirked and walked to the door, "If anyone but Ferb, Gir or myself come into the apartment, you've been allowed access to the telephone system. Call the authorities. I'm going out for a while. Seeya later, Eddie."
